Lifestyle Club House Rules: A Template

This page gives you a set of house rules for a private lifestyle club in the US or Canada. It covers consent, phones and photos, a dress code, guests, and what to do when someone breaks a rule. Copy the parts you need and change them to fit your club. Have a lawyer read them before you publish. This is general information, not legal advice.

We read the published rules of 25 clubs in October 2026. Most had a consent rule (24) and a rule on phones or photos (20). Most also said what happens when someone breaks a rule (22), but only 14 said how to report a problem.

Before you write your rules

• Write rules your staff can enforce. Say what members should do, not how they should feel.
• Apply each rule to everyone in the same way. A rule for one sex, or against one hairstyle, can break discrimination law (see the dress code below).
• Ask members to agree when they join. Use a checkbox that says clicking means agreeing to the house rules, with the rules one link away. A federal appeals court held in 2022 that a click binds someone only when they're told it means agreement (Ninth Circuit, 2022).
• Go through the rules at orientation, and post them in the club.
• Put a date on each version. When you change a rule, tell members and ask them to agree again. A changed contract binds members only once they've been told about it and accepted it (Ninth Circuit, 2007).

The application questions page has the checkbox wording for your membership application.

The house rules

Copy these, change the parts in brackets, and drop any rule you don't need.

Arriving

• Bring photo ID every visit. Staff check it against your membership photo.
• Arrive between [9:00 PM] and [11:00 PM]. The doors close at [11:00 PM].
• [Couples arrive together and leave together.]

Consent

• Ask before you touch anyone, every time.
• Join others only when everyone involved invites you.
• A "no" ends it. No one needs to give a reason, and no one asks twice.
• Anyone can change their mind at any time. When someone says "stop", everyone stops.
• Someone who is drunk or high can't consent.
• [Staff never join guests while they're working.]
• Read our [consent policy] before your first visit.

Privacy

• Don't tell anyone outside the club who you saw or what happened.
• Never share a member's name, alias, photo or details outside the club.
• If you see a member outside the club, a smile is enough unless they greet you.

Phones and photos

• Keep your phone in [your locker or the lounge].
• No photos, video or audio recording anywhere in the club. Smart glasses count.
• [Photos are allowed only at the photo wall, of people who agree to be in them.]

Alcohol, drugs and smoking

• Drink so you stay in control. Staff will refuse or remove anyone who is visibly drunk.
• No drugs anywhere on the property, including the parking lot.
• Smoke or vape only in [the outdoor area].
• No weapons on the property.

Shared spaces

• Shower before you use the private areas.
• Use a towel, and leave it in the hamper.
• A closed door means private. Don't knock or look in.
• An open door isn't an invitation to join. Ask first.
• No food or drinks in the private areas.
• Protection is provided in [the private areas].

Guests

• You're responsible for your guest. If your guest is asked to leave, you leave too.
• Guests show ID and go through the orientation.

Staff

• Staff wear [a black armband], so you can find them anytime.
• Follow staff instructions. On the night, staff decide.
• Anyone removed for breaking a rule doesn't get a refund.

Of the 25 clubs we read, 13 kept phones to set areas and 13 banned drugs. Twelve refused or removed visibly drunk guests, and 12 gave no refund on removal.

The consent policy

Publish this as its own page and link it from your house rules. It follows the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom's sample consent policy for clubs and events, which is worth reading.

• What consent means here: an explicit yes, freely given, for each activity, each time.
• What isn't consent: silence, body language, what someone wears, or a yes from earlier in the night.
• Asking: ask once. If the answer isn't yes, leave it there.
• Stopping: anyone can say "stop" at any time, and everyone stops right away.
• Joining: join others only when everyone involved invites you.
• Drinking: someone who is drunk or high can't consent. If you see someone who can't, tell staff.
• Couples: agree on your limits before you arrive, and check in with each other during the night.
• No pressure: don't pressure, trick or wear anyone down.
• Reporting: if something happens, tell [our staff] on the night, or email [address] within [a week]. We'll listen, and we'll share what you tell us only with the people who need it to act.

In Canada, the Criminal Code defines consent as voluntary agreement, present at the time, which can be withdrawn by words or conduct (Criminal Code, s. 273.1). US states define consent differently in their criminal laws, so your policy can ask for more than the law does.

Phones and photos

What the law says

• Recording people where they undress, without their consent, is a crime in California, New York, Texas and Florida (Cal. Penal Code §647(j)), and in Canada (Criminal Code, s. 162).
• Sharing an intimate image without consent is a crime under US federal law, in every state and in Canada (how to start a lifestyle club). Agreeing to a photo isn't agreeing to its being posted.
• In about 11 states, recording a private conversation needs everyone's consent (Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press).

What you can do

You can ban photos, and ask anyone who breaks the rule to leave (ACLU of Southern California). You can't take someone's phone or make them delete a photo (The Photographer's Right). Ask them to delete it, and remove them if they won't.

Your own cameras

Post a notice for cameras on entrances and shared areas. Never put a camera where people undress. In Texas a posted sign doesn't count as consent to recording in a private place (Tex. Penal Code §21.15).

The dress code

One dress code for everyone

New York City's human rights commission says a dress code can't set different requirements by gender (NYC Commission on Human Rights). One of its examples of hair discrimination is a nightclub that turns a woman away over her natural hairstyle (NYC Commission on Human Rights). California, New York and New Jersey count protective hairstyles such as braids, locs and twists as part of race (Cal. Civ. Code §51). So write rules about clothes, not people: describe options, never "men must" or "women must", and never ban a hairstyle or head covering.

The template

• Dress to impress: cocktail or upscale evening wear.
• Not allowed in [the lounge]: caps, T-shirts, athletic wear, sneakers, work boots and flip-flops.
• Theme nights are optional. [On masquerade nights, masks are welcome.]
• Change in [the changing room]. Robes and towels are fine in [the private areas].
• Cover up in shared spaces: the lobby, the parking lot, and hotel hallways at takeovers.
• Staff may refuse entry to anyone not dressed for the night.

Of the 12 clubs whose published dress codes list what's not allowed, 10 named caps, 10 T-shirts, nine sneakers and nine athletic wear.

When someone breaks a rule

Tell members how to report

Name who takes reports, and make sure members can see them. Four of the 25 clubs put safety staff in armbands, badges or a light. Then decide whether you take reports after the night, and say so: four clubs did, and two said the same night only.

Take each report privately

Listen to each person separately. Write down facts, not impressions, and don't bring the people involved together. Share what you learn only with the staff who need it.

Use steps, with one exception

A warning, a suspension, then a ban. A consent violation can go straight to a ban. Six of the 25 clubs used steps, and four banned at once for any consent violation.

Write it down

Keep a dated record of each report and each decision. Claims can come years later: in Ontario, a claim based on a sexual assault has no time limit (Limitations Act, 2002, s. 16). Privacy law asks you to keep records only as long as you need them, so ask your lawyer how long to keep yours.

Ban in writing

Tell the person in writing that they may not come back, and keep a copy. Trespass law then lets you have them removed if they return:

• Texas: staying after being told to leave is criminal trespass (Tex. Penal Code §30.05).
• California: refusing to leave property not open to the public, when the owner asks, is a misdemeanor (Cal. Penal Code §602).
• Ontario: since 2025, staying on the premises more than 24 hours after a notice to leave counts against the person at sentencing (Trespass to Property Act).

Think before you share a ban

Telling other clubs about a banned member can expose you to a defamation claim. In Canada, privacy law generally needs the person's consent before you share their information with another business (PIPEDA). If you plan to share bans, say so in your membership terms, and ask a lawyer first.

In an emergency

Call 911 for anything criminal or medical, and never stop anyone from calling.

Rules the law sets

Weapons signs

You can bar weapons, but some states require a sign with set wording and size:

• Texas: wording set by law, in English and Spanish, in block letters at least 1 inch high (Tex. Penal Code §§30.06, 30.07).
• South Carolina: "NO CONCEALABLE WEAPONS ALLOWED" on an 8 by 12 inch sign at each entrance (S.C. Code §23-31-235).
• Kansas: a set graphic at least 6 inches across, at eye level beside each entrance (K.A.R. 16-11-7).
• Arizona: you can't ban a gun locked out of sight in a car in your parking lot. Secured parking or storage is the exception (A.R.S. §12-781).

Check your state's rules before you print a sign.

Smoking and vaping

Indoor smoking bans cover clubs with staff. In California, Florida and Ontario we found no exemption for clubs, and New York's covers only nonprofit clubs run by unpaid members. Vaping is covered too, and so is cannabis in California, New York and Ontario (Cal. Lab. Code §6404.5; Smoke-Free Ontario Act, 2017).

Service animals

If your club counts as open to the public, the ADA requires you to admit service dogs. Staff may ask only whether the dog is required because of a disability and what task it's trained to do (28 CFR 36.302). Emotional support animals aren't service animals under the ADA (ADA.gov). A club that is private in fact is exempt from these rules, but state law may still apply.

Running your club on Enclave

On Enclave, you can add your house rules to your membership application as a checkbox question. Your staff can ban a member with a reason, and set an end date for a temporary ban. Members can report a post or a comment, and those reports arrive in your moderation queue. Members can also mute other members, and block them in messages.

At the door, your staff see the member's verification photo, if your club asks for one, when they scan the pass. Images marked as sensitive stay blurred in your members' area until a member chooses to see them. Staff actions are recorded in the audit log.

Frequently asked questions

What rules should a lifestyle club have?

Consent, phones and photos, privacy, alcohol and drugs, a dress code, guests, and what happens when someone breaks a rule. Of 25 clubs' published rules we read, 24 had a consent rule and 20 a rule on phones or photos.

Does a lifestyle club need a consent policy?

Yes. A written consent policy tells members what consent means at your club and how to report a problem. The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom publishes a sample you can start from.

Can a lifestyle club ban phones?

Yes. You can ban phones and photos, and ask anyone who breaks the rule to leave. You can't take someone's phone or make them delete a photo.

What should a lifestyle club dress code say?

What to wear for each night and each area, the same for everyone. Don't set different rules by gender, and don't ban hairstyles.

How do you ban someone from a club?

Record what happened, and tell the person in writing that they may not come back. If they return, trespass law lets you have them removed.

Should members sign the house rules?

Ask members to agree when they join, with a checkbox that says what clicking means, and keep a record. Ask them to agree again when you change the rules.