Membership Application Questions for Lifestyle Clubs

This page is for owners of private, members-only lifestyle clubs in the US and Canada: social clubs for adult couples and singles. It gives a set of application questions you can copy, a checklist from application to first night, and what to leave out. It works alongside the guide on how to vet and verify members. It is general information, not legal advice.

On the public pages of 28 clubs we read in September 2026, 12 approve members before their first visit, and eight sign them up at the door or on the first visit. Of the nine application forms whose fields we could see, seven had couples apply together, seven asked applicants to agree to the club's rules, six asked for a date or year of birth, and only one asked for a photo of ID. Two told applicants not to send one.

Before you write the form

Ask only what you'll use

Each question should help you do one of four things: recognize the person at the door, place them as a couple or a single, see whether they fit your rules, or reach them. Leave out anything else.

The law points the same way:

• Canada: a business may not require consent to more information than it needs for its stated purposes, and must limit what it collects to what is necessary (PIPEDA, Schedule 1, 4.3.3 and 4.4). In Quebec, a business can't turn someone down for refusing to answer a question it doesn't need, and "in case of doubt, personal information is deemed to be non-necessary" (Quebec private sector privacy act, s. 9).
• US: since July 1, 2026, Connecticut's privacy law covers any business that handles Connecticut residents' sensitive data, such as their sex life, sexual orientation or driver's license number. It must collect only what is reasonably necessary, and get consent for sensitive data (Connecticut Data Privacy Act). The FTC's advice to every business is the same: "Don't collect personal information you don't need" (FTC).

Say why you ask, and who sees the answers

Tell applicants, on the form, why you ask each thing and that only your staff see the answers. Answers about someone's sex life or sexual orientation are sensitive, and in Canada they generally need express consent (Privacy Commissioner of Canada).

Keep it short

A short form gets finished. Name and email come with the applicant's account, so the form only needs what's particular to your club.

The application questions

Copy the ones you need. Each has the kind of answer it takes.

Who is applying

• Are you applying as a couple or as a single? Single choice: Couple, Single, Other. It decides the membership type and the price. A couple applies once, with one form.
• If you're applying as a couple, your partner's first name. Short text.
• Is everyone applying 21 or older? Checkbox. Use your own minimum: where alcohol is present, 21 in the US, 19 in Ontario and British Columbia, 18 in Alberta, Manitoba and Quebec. You'll check ID at the door, so the form doesn't need a copy of it.
• Which city do you live in? Short text, optional. It helps you plan nights and spot out-of-town visitors.
• Phone number. Optional or required, for the day of an event.

How they found you

• How did you hear about us? Single choice: A member, A search, Social media, A club directory, Other. It shows which channels bring the members you want.
• Did a member refer you? Their name or username. Short text, optional. A referral from a member is the strongest signal you'll get. Check it with the member before you decide.
• How long have you known them? Short text, optional.

Experience and expectations

• Have you been to a lifestyle club or event before? Single choice: No, this is our first time; A few times; Often. First-timers get the tour on their first night.
• What are you hoping to find at our club? Long text. A few honest lines tell you more than any checklist.
• What does consent mean to you? Long text. The answer shows whether they've read your consent policy.

Rules and agreements

• I've read and agree to the house rules. Checkbox, required.
• I've read and agree to the consent policy. Checkbox, required.
• I won't take photos inside the club or share anything about other members. Checkbox, required.

A photo

• A recent photo that shows your face, both of you if you're a couple. Your staff match it with the person at the door. A face is all it needs to show.

What to leave out

Copies of ID

Check ID at the door and don't keep a copy. Virginia and Oregon let a business scan a driver's license to check age but not keep the data (Va. Code §59.1-443.3; ORS 807.750). Canada's privacy commissioners draw the same line between looking at ID and photocopying it: "If you can't protect, don't collect!" (Privacy Commissioner of Canada). In 2025, breaches at two apps exposed thousands of verification selfies and ID photos.

Health questions

Leave STI tests and HIV status out of the application. Washington's health-data law covers sexual health information and test results at businesses of any size, with consent, a published policy and deletion rights (RCW 19.373). HIV infection is a disability under the ADA, and a business open to the public can't screen out people with a disability unless the rule is necessary and based on actual risks (28 CFR 36.301). If a night requires testing, ask a lawyer how to handle it first.

Sexual orientation and gender, unless you need them

Ask only if the answer changes something, and offer more than two options and let people describe themselves (Ontario Human Rights Commission). California, New York and New Jersey protect sexual orientation and gender identity in public accommodations, and Ontario's exception for recreational clubs doesn't cover them. Being private in fact is what exempts a club, and courts read that narrowly (how to price memberships and door fees).

Who is unwelcome

Don't publish that a sex or marital status is unwelcome. New York and New Jersey make the notice itself unlawful for a public accommodation, and Ontario and British Columbia forbid publishing an intention to discriminate (N.Y. Exec. Law §296). Describe your admission types instead: couples, singles, by invitation.

Social media passwords

Never ask for them. If you ask for a handle, remember you may find the wrong person with the same name (BC Information and Privacy Commissioner).

Registry and record checks

• California, New Jersey and Nevada restrict using public sex-offender registry information to deny a business's services. California allows its use "only to protect a person at risk" (Cal. Penal Code §290.46).
• A background check through a screening company brings in the Fair Credit Reporting Act: the applicant's written instruction, and a notice if the report plays a part in turning them down (15 U.S.C. §1681b).
• In Canada the national sex-offender registry isn't public, and in Ontario a police record check needs the person's written consent, with the results going to them first (Police Record Checks Reform Act).

Ask a lawyer before you add any of these.

The vetting checklist

1. Publish your house rules and consent policy before applications open, and link them from the form.
2. Say how long a decision takes. Clubs state anything from 24 hours to 7 days.
3. Check the photo by eye against the applicant's profile. Software that matches faces brings consent and deletion duties under biometric laws in Texas, Illinois and Colorado, and a declaration to Quebec's privacy regulator (Texas Bus. & Com. Code §503.001; Quebec IT framework act, s. 44).
4. Confirm the referral with the member who gave it.
5. Ask a follow-up question when an answer is unclear.
6. Decide: approve, decline, or ask for more. Write down why, in words you'd be comfortable with the applicant reading.
7. Approve before the first visit. It gives you time to check, and keeps the line at the door moving.
8. On the first night, check ID against the photo, and give first-timers the tour and the rules. Twelve of the 28 clubs we read give newcomers a tour or an orientation.
9. Set rules for the first months if you want them: some clubs ask couples to attend together for their first year, or start new members on a trial.
10. Decide in advance what happens when a couple separates or a partner changes: a new application, or an update to the existing membership.

For steps 3 to 6, the guide to reviewing and verifying applicants covers each check, who decides and how to say no.

Asking for more, and saying no

Follow-up questions

Keep them short and specific:

• "Could you send another photo, with both of your faces visible?"
• "Which member referred you? We'd like to check with them."
• "Could you tell us a little more about what you're hoping to find at the club?"

Declining

We found no US or Canadian law that requires a club to give a reason, apart from the notice required when a background check played a part, and Quebec's rule for decisions made entirely by software. Several clubs we read don't reply to applicants they turn down. A short, polite no tells people where they stand, and you can say whether and when they may apply again.

In Canada, a declined applicant can ask for their file, including your staff's notes about them (PIPEDA). British Columbia and Quebec require you to keep what you used for a decision for at least a year, so the applicant can see it (BC PIPA, s. 35). Then delete it.

Keeping applications safe

• Limit who can see them: the staff who review applications and the door.
• Keep them only as long as you need them. In the US no law sets a period for declined applications, so set your own and write it down; the FTC's rule of thumb is to hold information only while you have a legitimate business need (FTC). In Canada, keep decision records long enough for access, then destroy them and their copies (Privacy Commissioner of Canada).
• In Quebec, the owner is the club's privacy officer unless someone else is named, and the officer's contact details go on the club's website (Quebec private sector privacy act, s. 3.1).

The privacy checklist for club events covers the rest of a club's privacy practices.

Setting it up in Enclave

On Enclave, you turn on approval for a membership type, and every application waits for your decision. You add your own questions to each type: short text, long text, number, date, phone, single choice, multiple choice or checkbox, each required or optional, and you can ask for a phone number. A type can require a photo that only your staff see, and door staff see it when they scan the member's pass at check-in. You approve, decline or ask a follow-up question; the applicant answers in the members' area, and the application comes back to you. Approved applicants pay in the members' area to start their membership.

Members choose a public username, and their real name, phone and birth date stay with your staff. A couple shares one account and one membership. Invitation-only types appear only to the contacts you invite, and each type can have a cap on numbers.

Frequently asked questions

What questions should a lifestyle club ask new members?

Whether they're applying as a couple or a single, a confirmation of age, how they heard about the club and who referred them, their experience, what they're hoping to find, agreement to the house rules and consent policy, and a recent photo that shows their faces.

How do lifestyle clubs verify members?

Many match a photo from the application with the person at the door and check ID on arrival, and 12 of the 28 clubs we read approve new members before their first visit. Some confirm a referral from an existing member or talk with applicants first.

Should a club ask for a copy of ID with the application?

No. Check ID at the door and don't keep a copy. Several states limit keeping data from scanned licenses, and breaches have exposed ID photos.

Can a club check applicants against the sex-offender registry?

In California, New Jersey and Nevada, the law restricts using registry information to deny a business's services. Ask a lawyer before you screen applicants against a registry or run background checks.

Do couples apply together?

At most clubs whose forms we read, yes: one application for both, with a photo of both.

How long should a club keep declined applications?

Long enough to answer questions about the decision, then delete them. In British Columbia and Quebec, keep what you used for the decision for at least a year.